Embodied Feminine Power

The other day I felt it - the full integration of the embodied frequency of feminine power in my body.

My whole life, I had been demonizing this power as a 'turn off', repulsive. Too intense. And so I had split from it.

And what I found once I allowed her all the way back in is that this power in me is fiercely loving. And lovable. That people feel more of who they are on in its presence. They feel their own power.

And I'm just really clear that I will fully back it, no matter what.

Done deal. Full Devotion.

So, I've found that at this stage of my work with the feminine, for me it's all about learning to ride this energy wave without getting too far forward on my board.

I have had a tendency to get over the top of the wave and pop out. To lose my center.

Because what is happening here is there this much life force energy in my system creates major sensation in my body.

And through my childhood I learned that having this much sensation in my body is threatening.

Even if 'desirable', I had been afraid to receive it.

Because receiving itself is highly sensational. It's vulnerable. Because it requires us to be OPEN.

I've been witnessing how easy it is to go out of range here.

I can feel that She is giving me the assignment of practicing how I use my energy here (is this use consumptive? or is this generative?), and holding it with precision. With great care and attention.

To connect with her again and again, and not just ride it out on fumes from the first impulse without checking in again until there is no gas left.

And to stay fucking home. In my body. Low and slow. With the sensation. Even here. Especially here. This much power requires a tremendous amount of responsibility.

From this spot I feel my desire, like the strongest magnet. Calling to her everything that is for her.

And naturally repelling that which is not.

So, yes, the feminine is repulsive, but only when it's true.