Reception IS Service

Yesterday I squandered my energy.

When I had connected with the spirit of the land at @haciendadelsolcr in the morning about how to serve her, I received direction to just rest and tend to my woman. She told me: bathe yourself, feed yourself, get yourself good groceries, move your body, and take a nap.

She told me not to pay her any attention yesterday and focus on me.

But I had a really hard time receiving that instruction.

And so instead of resting, or doing anything really powerful, I did a bunch of busy things that were neither receptive or creative.

At about 7pm, anxiety stopped me dead in my tracks. “I haven’t done anything to serve the energy today.” It was a moment of punishment for not listening.

The anxiety was two-fold: 1) I didn’t listen to her to fully rest. And 2) I didn’t really trust that I was safe to fully rest.

So I was stuck in an energetic purgatory.

Then I spoke with @the_awakenedwarrior who had had a deeply nourishing and connected day with our daughter, and I was like ‘fuk this was supposed to be my day to resource myself and I squandered it. And now I won’t be energetically available to my child when it’s my turn.’

These words popped up in my psyche “I’m a waste of space.”

I had to really go there and turn toward that little one inside me who believes that she is not safe to receive just by being.

That I am only worthy of love and being taken care of if I produce or perform.

This belief then has me never quite in full reception. Instead, when I am meant to really be receptive, I squander the energy instead of really feeding on it.

Then I don’t have the energy to really pay precise attention to Ellyana’s needs, because my own inner child’s needs haven’t even been met.

In this open and raw state I went to bed. I slept for 12 hours.

Then this morning between sleep and wake, the land whispered to me:

Reception IS service.

I woke and started journaling as she channeled:

“Service IS reception.

You need to receive from me for just being first. Like a baby does.

You are safe to rest.

You are safe to receive.

The woman’s creation first comes from being the held child.

Wait. It’s ok to wait. I will provide for you.

Hold the energy you receive. You will need it for the work I have for you.

I have enough to give you for doing absolutely nothing.

I need you to be able to surrender here to be in true service.

I need you resourced.

The reception always comes before the creation.

Stop trying to initiate or make things happen or feeling you need to earn my safety, love, and protection.

They are already yours.

There is nothing you have to do.
This is how you have the energy to serve.

This is HOW you make it ‘not about you.’

This is how you shift from survival into true service and have attention for others.

My work, as the land, is to care for you and Crystal first. So you are so full that you naturally pour from the overflow.

This is your work right now, my love.

Open. And receive.

So you can well and truly open in due time. And create.”