The Practice of Devotion

I feel like a planet in retrograde, that needs to go back and review before journeying forward.

Sifting through the last year of my life, as I reveal it to you from beginning to end, is like the final integration point.

A completion ceremony.

I will tell you, it is really not my *preference*.

I would much prefer to fill you in on all the fresh energy I hold now, that got freed up as I surrendered to the 'petite morts'.

(The little ego deaths ARE orgasmic in their opening. But they are a bitch when the mind panics and literally thinks it’s going to die. I know from actual experience.)

But before I can share what’s opened up for me on the other side, or even share the more subtle and nuanced spots I am moving through today, I can feel the inconvenient truth of going backwards.

I need to do this because it’s what is being asked of me:

To share this raw spot, as tender as the cervix, through which my present day openings have been birthed.

And to do it as an act of service to the energy, without selling anything.

Not that I won’t sell again someday. But she continues to adjust me here. “No. Not right now. I will let you know when admittance to my field asks for such an investment.”

And when it does, it will be a clean invitation.

For now, it’s just the advanced level practice of devotion to Truth, as I share it in a public forum, exposed. Yes, an advanced practitioner, and also still - and always - a student, mastering mastery.

And being so open to Her adjustment when it is off.

My teacher likens this to a dance coach:

“NOPE.
AGAIN.
NOPE.
AGAIN.
Again. Again. Again.
One more time.
THERE IT IS.”

This is really the only important ‘outcome’ of this practice of sharing my story, is the practice itself.

There is no end. No means.

It’s not to save you. Or help humanity. Or serve people. Or gain merit.

It’s to serve Her, the field of truth that lives through me, that is the essence of The Feminine herself.

She asks me: How committed are you? Will you abandon me at the first ego crunch? Or will you get on your knees in devotion to the the true thing.

I choose knees. Again. Again. Again.

In Devotion,
Steffie